What Will You Find In the Darkest Tightest Folds of Your Soul?

hand holding a scorpion

When my husband and I travelled to visit-and hopefully encourage-global workers around the world, I confess, some countries got more prayer than others. The prayers usually had to do more with the creatures than the people. Some of those countries came with how-to instructions. 

“Always shake out your clothes before you put them on.”

“Make sure to turn your shoes upside down before you put them on.” 

“Shake out the towel before you dry yourself.” 

These are the things nightmares are made of. 

And the clincher. 

Don’t sit on the toilet without first checking what else might be in or on it. 

In those tiny folds of fabric, dark toes of the shoe, or clinging to the under seat of the toilet, things like tarantulas, scorpions and snakes hid.  

On one of those trips, we landed at perhaps the bravest family I’ve ever known. They were accustomed to what comes in must go out. I however, was not. 

We slept (it’s a relative term) under a net. The tile roof above was open at places to the outside. Whatever decided to be on the roof had an open door to the inside. 

“What you can’t see in the light comes out in the dark,” the lady of the house told me with a chuckle while she adjusted the net that protected our bed.  

My husband, the ever practical man who grew up in one of those countries, debated the merits of a net. “Of course the net also keeps in whatever can’t get out.” 

Thank you, dear. 

crab looking out from his hole in the sand
Crab on Norfolk beach - photo by Philip Schroeder

While they bonded with stories of plate-sized tarantulas and six-foot long snakes, my prayers intensified. They increased as my wide-eyed night passed.

At times life is like that. It shakes out of us the worst critters hidden in the deepest nooks and crannies of our beings. From the littlest things to big, a child’s meltdown or a broken faucet, an unexpected bill or a stubbed toe. 

Things we didn’t know were lurking slither out, pettiness, comparison, envy, and greed. We play a blame game, are unkind or say what we shouldn’t. And sometimes, we wonder, where in the world did that come from?!  

When stress and fear push on my chest, when I feel the accusation from another, or health issues strike, these are times when I wonder where had it all been hiding before?

God sees into the darkest, tightest folds of my soul that I can’t see and turns them inside out to be stark naked in plain sight. His Word and His Spirit reveal what’s hidden. He loves me that much. 

Moses’ prayer in Psalm 90:8 acknowledges the illuminating spotlight on even secret sins. “You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.” Psalm 90:8 ESV

God sees into the darkest, tightest folds of my soul that I can’t see and turns them inside out to be stark naked in plain sight. He loves me that much
This too is a mark of His goodness.  

David recognized his need for God to search deep. 

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24 KJV  

David wanted to know what was in the cracks. He asked God to reveal what He saw. He was willing to be changed. He invited God’s presence into all the spaces. 

God’s Word, like a spotlight casts its beam here and there within. It illuminates places oblivious to us and shines light on what we’d rather not be aware of. It removes what’s not supposed to be there. 

God’s Word, illuminates places oblivious to us and shines light on what we’d rather not be aware of
Growing in Christ allows Him into every nook and cranny. It calls out of hiding the muck of sin again and then again. It invites His searching, knowing, and seeing. 

God’s Word is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. 

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 NKJV

Strongs Concordance describes this discernment as “tracing out and passing judgement on the thoughts of the mind.” 

I know the lady of that home did her best to sweep clean and eliminate every scurried creature out of her house. I can also imagine the impossibility of keeping them from returning.

I did not overcome my over-the-top aversion to slimy, creepy, crawly creatures while I was there. But I am thankful my Heavenly Father loves me so much He is ready to house clean. I’m grateful for Him reaching deep into places only He can, so that what comes out reflects His light.  

Join me in my prayer for today. (see article "A Cleaned Cup" p. 12)

Search me. 

Know me. 

Try me. 

Lead me.

*feature photo by sippakorn yamkasikorn on Unsplash

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